Top 5 Reasons I don't Want You at my Theatre!

Blargh! I know that being in the movie industry (well, movie theatre industry) means that you should be doing everything you can to get people to the movies. Well, I have to admit that there are certain people I don't want at the movies. I'm not talking about just the ones that are disruptive during movies (though that's really annoying as well), I'm talking about plain ol' don't come to the movies! Here are my top 5.

You are under 16, and it's a Friday Night Thriller/Horror - These kids are the bane of a movie theatre manager. I don't know what it is about their "pack mentality", but put a movie with some predictable jump scenes, and you've got a Friday night hit.

What exactly do these kids do that make me want them to just stay home? First of all, they all show up at the same time, about 15 minutes before a movie starts. A minor complaint, but it does make things a bit more difficult to keep organized. It only gets worse from there. Before the movie starts, there's the endless chatter, texting, taking pictures (who does that inside a movie theatre?), and arguing. They run around too. Remember your elementary/middle school cafeterias? Well imagine that, times 5. During the movie, they jump at every little thing, scream, talk on their phones, throw food, and are generally little brats.

After the movie is when they really shine. Last week was a prime example with Prom Night. A few kids from nearby towns decided that they were going to fight after the movie. I broke up a couple arguments, and went back inside, as parents began to show up. Of course these kids begin kicking the parents cars, the cops come, and so on and so on. If you happen to fit into any of the description abov, JUST STAY HOME. Parents.... learn to control your kids.

You are intoxicated, and disturb everyone else. This guest is a little more subtle in their disturbance of others, but can be really annoying nonetheless. These types of guests tend to get way too drunk or high before coming to the movies, and you can tell right away that something's gonna happen. The main disturbance with these people is that they fall asleep during movies, or they talk really loudly. Now I have no problem if you fall asleep during a movie, and sometimes it might even be better, but not if you're going to snore!

Snoring guests are the worst because usually they're so drunk, they're impossible to wake up. Just this past friday, I had a guest who was sound asleep, snoring really really loudly, and it took about 5 minutes to wake him up. Shaking, flashlight in the eyes, and screaming into the ear just wasn't working. Add to that you have to be afraid they might lash out when they wake up... and I've had enough. JUST STAY HOME!

You think you're all deserving. This category actually applies to a lot of different types. Daddy's little girls, people who are sure the whole world is against them, the antagonist, the racist.. etc. You can just imagine what these people do. There is no pleasing them. No matter what you do, you've done something to offend them, and they're going to threaten you with the law. You have to be afraid of losing your job, having words put in your mouth, letters being written, insults, and more. Yes, it is part of the job to deal with difficult customers, but there is no reason why you should be threatening or overly aggressive.

If you can't stay calm and be polite in a situation, you probably won't get what you want anyway. What makes you think that you have the right to act like this? JUST STAY HOME!

You have loud children. Normally, I have no problem with children. I actually enjoy having kids come to the theatre most of the time because they are pleasant, don't usually complain, and are trying to have a good time. I have a problem with the parent more often than the kid usually. For some reason, parents think that their kids are the best kids in the world, and never do any wrong. That's fine, and you are entitiled to your own opinion of them. However, when your kid is crying or causing a disturbance in a theatre, and I ask you to please take them outside until they calm down, and you yell at me, we have a problem.

Like I said before, if you can't control your kids at home, they probably shouldn't be out at a movie theatre, where there are going to be people who are going to be pissed off if something like this happens. You should know in advance what your kids are like. If they don't sit still or can't stay quiet for a couple hours.. JUST STAY HOME! Rent a DVD, and eventually they'll be mature enough to come to the movies.

You're the parent of a kid trying to get into a Rated R movie. One of my pet peeves.. I really love this kind of guest. Actually, they're not really a guest because they're not actually going to the movie themselves. What they're here for is to buy tickets for their kids, then take off so they can have a couple hours peace without their little monsters. Not every theatre is like mine, but we check ids, and don't let these kids into those rated R movies, just like we're supposed to. Then these kids usually try to sneak in, and when we catch them, they call their parents.

Then comes the fun. You have to hear all their reasons.

"I'm here, giving my permission for them to see the movie without me."

"They've done it here before, they always see rated R movies."

"I've never heard that rule before, that must be new."

I've heard all the excuses before. And its not going to work. Screaming at me over the phone, or in person is not going to get you anywhere. I'm not getting shut down because your little prince or princess just HAD to see that movie. And that's final. If you can't take the time to go with them, JUST STAY HOME.

Had to get that off my chest. I'm sure there's more where that came from, and it might seem like working at the theatre sucks, but generally it's a pretty good time, and there are a lot of people I do enjoy seeing come to the movies. In fact, there will be a post about them coming up really soon! :-) That's all for now, hope you enjoyed my rant!