Joe's Review: 10,000 BC

Boy, am I tired. I played some floor hockey earlier today and I just about died. I haven't really worked out much since school ended (tear), and I'm pretty out of shape. It's just something that I've kinda forgotten about, but I really need to get back on it. It was fun to play though... I kinda wish that I had played hockey before, so that I might be doing that now. But hindsight is always 20/20, as they say.

Anyway, onto something that I wish could burn calories like a workout, a movie review! Yes, I saw the monstrosity known as 10,000 B.C. a few days back, and its time to comment on it.

I came into this movie with high expectations. Again, in retrospect, this was not warranted. I'd heard that typical Roland Emmerich movies are like that, in which the trailer is all action. In short, I was disappointed by this one.

As you may or may not know, this not-so-epic movie follows a hunter, D'Leh, and the journey he goes through to save the love of his life Evolet (played by Camilla Belle). She had come to his tribe after her tribe was wiped out by some raiders. Upon her entry into the village, the "old mother" of the town has a prophesy that in a few years, in the final hunt, a terrible tragedy will befall the tribe. However, Evolet and her mate, who is yet to be discovered, will be the ones to find a way for their tribe to continue. D'Leh's father, in the meantime, cannot wait for this to happen, and sets about on a journey to try to find a way to save the tribe.

The years pass and the "final hunt" approaches. I don't know why it's a final hunt, but it is.
Evolet and D'Leh are grown, and have grown quite fond of each other. In their tradition, the one who kills the Manek (Wooley Mammoth) will be able to claim the white spear and his mate. D'Leh manages to do this, and claims Evolet as his woman. However, it turns out that he killed the Manek by accident, and he gives back the white spear, and Evolet as well. While he thinks about what he has done, a raiding group comes through and kills some people, and kidnap the others.

The remaining people in the village are at a loss. D'Leh, fearing what might happen to Evolet, decides that he must go after her. The old mother in the village agrees, and the three remaining hunters go after the raiding group to try and save their people. On their way, they encounter many other tribes who have been attacked as well, and they join forces as they travel along, towards the inevitable showdown with the "God" that has ordered their people taken.

I must admit, that does make it sound a bit epic, but trust me, it's not. I tried to force myself to enjoy this one, but I just couldn't. I'll take solace in knowing that it was free.

If you're thinking about this one, find something else... you'll be happier. 2 out of 10. Blah.